After publishing the previous post tonight I glansed through the posts' content and realized what a busy couple of days I've had this last week. Studying, traveling, working, spending time with friends and all those "need-to-do-things" are all a part of my everyday life. I am used to having a busy schedule ever week, managing several projects at the same time and previously it hasn't bothered me, on the contrary I've actually loved it. I know how crazy this must sound.
Still, it has reached a point where the stress have taken a tight grip of my everyday life. Even though the signs have been there I have chosen to ignore them and continued with my routines, trying to fill every day in my calendar with an appointment of some sort. This lifestyle has not been very healthy for my body, mind and soul and even though my boyfriend, family and friends have mentioned it several times I've chosen to ignore all the signs. Last night an inner chaos exploded inside of me and suddenly I was panicking over my paper and all the other social "to-do's" that were blinking as a constant reminder on the screen of my iPhone. I don't understand how other people do it? This addiction we have to our phones, not being able to put them away and the fact how they have taken over our everyday life? I find it hard to remember what life was like before I had a cellphone.
Anyway, I've had enough. I've decided that I can't go on like this. I have to stop misjudging my priorities and stop having this feeling of anxiety every time I feel like I'm missing out from some social activity that my friends are doing through text messages but also social media such as Facebook. I realize that I have had difficulties in creating a good balance between my studies, work and my social life. Unfortunately it has effected my closest relationships where I've had "mini-vulcano-outbreaks" way to often if you ask them (!)... Well, that's my opinion anyway.
This is why I have for example decided to cut down the amount of work these last upcoming weekends that I have left in Örebro before I leave for my practice in Stockholm. I have also decided to put away my phone after 9 PM every evening with start tomorrow night in order to go to bed earlier. I will also try to have a non-disturbing mode on during the day when I'm busy studying, otherwise you keep checking your phone every 5 minutes or every time you see that someone has texted you which makes it very hard to focus on whatever thing you are doing at the moment.
Hopefully these actions will help me in my way to stress less and to find a better balance in life. Now that I am feeling better I will also try to head out for my morning powerwalks/afternoon runs simply to be able to spend some time outdoors and get some fresh air every day. I have other ideas that I would like to share with you but it's time for bed now and I really need to get some sleep! Sweet dreams
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